Wednesday, February 27, 2013

budding love # 7

I came exhausted back home, the day was really tiring, determined to get some sleep after getting fresh I opened the main door lock, the first thing that came to my view was she, but what happened? How and why? All questions started rising in my mind, she was sleeping on the sofa, head on his lap, he was trying to console her? She looked comfortable with him, my heart was beating faster and every move that his hand made through her hair brought pain to it. I was standing still there… I was tired and exhausted but jealousy and anger had overcome the feelings by now, they didn’t even realize my presence in the room, the sound of the door opening, he was busy caressing her hair. I wanted to shout at that moment. It was not bearable for me to see her so comfortable in other man’s arms. Was I being possessive? But then am I not supposed to be? My heart squeaked in affirmation, but I could not do anything.
While caressing her he took a casual look at the door and saw me standing there, he gave a smile to me, but that smile clearly conveyed me his message
“I win…!!” I too gave him a helpless smile and tried to make myself comfortable, I removed my shoes as I sat on the sofa, while I eyed their every move.
Soon my MIL brought a glass of water from me from the kitchen, I looked at her and pondered, “Whole family seems to be here… ” as I sipped water, she enquired me how my day was and all sort of questions that were listed in her questioner. I answered them and went in my room to get fresh. I don’t know what was happening to me, I didn’t even enquire, what had happened to her? Why they came here? Why she was sleeping? I was not able to get out of the view… she being comfortable in his arms. I think I did not like the idea that I’m not the only man in her life, I was denying the truth that she loves him too. I washed my face and wiped it with napkin, as I looked in the mirror I questioned myself again was I being selfish? Is love defined? Can’t we love two people equally? After all she has right to love her parents with whom she has been for past 25 years, I know she has the right but why am I not able to accept this? May be this is for the same reason why my mom can’t see me happy with her without her in our life? May be this is exactly what she might be feeling, jealous to see her Son happy with some woman who came into his life just a year back? Somewhere in the question answer session that my heart was playing I went to sleep.
My sleep got disturbed when she came and cuddled herself in my arms, making pillow of one of them. I opened my eyes and watched her innocent face glowing in the street light that was falling on her face; she was so innocently sleeping in my arms. I moved her hair from her face and kissed her forehead, I then realized she was burning with fever. Forgetting everything I got up and brought her medicine to which she politely replied, “I had them, dad gave it.” I sighed in relief and then placing the blanket properly across her I sat beside her while she tried to sleep, her face glowing in the dim light. When I realized that I love this feeling,
I love playing as her Father and care for her when she is not well and always
I love playing her Brother to resolve her issues and stand by her side always
I love playing her Friend to share all her secrets and keep them locked in me
I love playing her Kid to get pampered by her.
I love the most playing her better half and watch the pride grow in her eyes for me.
I know I’m selfish, I want all her love, I don’t want to share it with anyone, and I want to be the only one in her life to get all her love. I’m jealous of her to know how much love she has in her life apart from my love, but I know I can do anything for her for that one word she utters for me “Darling!!”