Tuesday, September 3, 2013

.....???


Have you ever felt like leaving all that you have currently and run away to a far far place?
I have been feeling it…. like leaving everything… all the tensions, relations everything… Sanyaas they call it!!!
I know you will now call me a coward… who wants to run away from situation and not face them…
But then I dont know why Im not able to take that decision.May be because I fear I may not be able to forget the love that I have of my loved ones..
I get bored of these relations some times… I dont get to live as I want because of them… why do I need to be good to everyone? when they dont care about me? They are free to be as they want but Im bounded by values, manners and what all …
Isn’t it right, for a relation to grow it needs to be nourished from both sides?
And damn these TV serials….
Why the hell do every serial has to have a bahu who can sacrifice anything for her relations?
Why there is only one person who is so good then?? If being good is so imp? I Dont want to be the good gal… I want to be a bad gal…
The Bad people always get what they want and they always enjoy all through out their life. While the good people dont even get recognized for heir sacrifices… may be in the end they will get a few words of praise… huh?
Is it really bad if you once in a while hurt someone? when they keep hurting you always? or you back answer your elders?
Why are we always taught to be polite and well mannered? When it hurt the core of your heart... it damages you!!
Im fed up of being good…
Im tired of speaking politely to everyone when my heart wishes just to slap that person in face…
Im tired of keeping quite and not answering to my managers when they play the blame game…
Im tired of taking care of everyone, when they care a damn about me..
Im tired of calling friends when they will never call and be in touch…(and when I call they will say… ohh you called after a long time?? huh?  )
I dont want the praises, I dont want people to think Im a good gal!!
I dont want to hurt someone either… I just want to live my life the way I want.. without restrictions..
I have got one life and I want to live to the fullest but these restrictions dont allow me to…
I dont want to live in this world… I want to breathe in a different world….
If I go to that world would I be happy.. where there will be.. just me and me all over?
Somewhere I can do whatever I want?